Oh we've heard all those lovely stories. They are everywhere- you know; Girl puts profile on Internet, boy clicks on profile, they go out and it is instant love, culminating in the romantic life of the picket fence and the two and a half children. (Or, if you were already married it might end up looking a little like the Walton's with your combined total of 75 children in a ramshackle mansion in South Carolina.)

What ever your starting point, if you are single today, Internet dating is one of the most common suggested forms of meeting people. Thousands of New Zealanders from all areas around the country, from diverse backgrounds are enlisting the aid of cyber matchmaking services to help them find a connection.
Not everyone is looking for true love however. In my six months researching for my book Eighty Eight dates I heard far more tales of disappointment, fear, and distress and for many, a huge comedy of errors. Some use the net as a filter, calculating and hunting, while others are frustrated at the difficulty in finding success in their pursuit for love or connection.
Let's face it, we love hearing about the steamier or seedier side of finding cyber love. And there are plenty of those stories out there. Some people have been using some form of Internet dating service continuously for over five years. One man told me he's met and slept with over two thousand women in the last seven years. Even dividing by the ten you must for men's bragging quota that's still pretty big numbers.
I've heard pretty much every story under the sun. I know many of them are true, because I've often inadvertently heard both sides- one normally a tale of bragging, the other a tale of outrage. I myself experienced a shocker of a date with a weird, odd looking man who acted the same way with not just me, but another four women who retold their dating horror story. Either that or there are many, many profusely sweating, speaking challenged men, who walk with a limp and have a curious taste in stained overcoats roaming the internet highways looking for love.
And what sort of stories did I hear? Imagine a first date where the male has persuaded to meet in a pitch black hotel room, to strip naked and talk across the room at each other, a woman who goes on a date with a man only to find out he is married, or a male trapped in a woman's bathroom overnight, stranded far away from everywhere, too scared to open the door to a woman who won't take no for an answer. Due to the frank honesty of these stories, I chose to retell the stories anonymously, but I heard them direct from the source over a dinner table, in a crowded cafe, or over the phone.
Do all these stories mean internet dating is a huge waste of time unless you're looking for just a casual hookup? I don't think so. I just think our brains and our fingers haven't caught up with our hearts enough. So many of us get to the stage of chatting to someone online and forget we haven't seen them, heard them, used all those important visual cues to work out if that person is ok.
If you want to Internet date- then do. I've loved it. Every bit of it. Even the bad dates. It's made for a great year of fabulous dinner party stories. And it's a great conversation starter on dates. Especially if it's someone you've met off the Internet...